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Written by Dena Hurst, Ph.D.
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Since the first of this year, I have hit the ground running, and in talking with others, I am learning that I am not the only one who is struggling to keep pace. Over the past few weeks, I have had opportunities to reflect on this—usually as I am standing in line or waiting in traffic. Why do we feel so rushed? So swept up in the ‘now’? I have no answer—I can only believe that 2008 is a pivotal year and I am hanging on for the ride. I find this approach far easier to cope with. Most of us assume we are guilty of some shortcoming when we find ourselves simply treading water to keep afloat. “I must get more organized,” we say. Or, “I have to prioritize the things in my life.” To these I say, “Stuff and nonsense!” We must bear in mind that we are part of a system, many systems. We respond to demands as they arise to the best of our ability and given the resources and knowledge we have. It is only in hindsight, as we look back at why events do not meet our expectations, that we second-guess our capabilities. And armed with this insight, what if we re-examine how we look at time (I borrow now from a wonderful little book, Ten Thoughts About Time)? What if we stop saying, “I don’t have enough time,” or, “I’ll never get that done in time”? All of life is part of a steady flow, and time is but one of the element of our systems. Time has always existed, yet it is only in the past two generations that we have become time-dependent. Time has gone from being part of the backdrop to a critical measure not only of what we do but what kind of person we are, whether we are punctual or organized, and, by extension, responsible or trustworthy. There are many economic and social interactions that can effectively and usefully be measured in terms of time, much like we measure temperature in terms of degrees or weight in terms of pounds (or kilograms). We are able to take this time, divide it up and try to reassemble it, buy devices to help us track it. But this time, “clock time,” is a technological artifice and should not be confused with “lived time.” Lived time is the time that is ours, which we infuse with thoughts and feelings and experiences. To get more personal time, you have to let go of the clock as the ultimate measure of time. The ultimate measure is the quality of the experiences and relationships you are able to fill your time with. To that end, we can move away from our old mental models of never having enough time, and instead create a new reality in which we have plenty of time. This is really not an issue of managing time (“clock time”), but rather of acknowledging that time is not something that we can manage. We can change our self-talk and tell ourselves that we have enough time. We can guard against dividing our time so that our “lived time” seems longer—much like summers seemed to stretch endlessly to us as children. Too many small pieces make time easier to use up. And we can move away from the belief that time is money, that if we are not producing something (to earn money) we are wasting time. On the contrary, many efforts bring value without bringing money. Thinking, creating, and planning are all essential functions driven not by a clock, but by our internal needs; the mind must do these things to maintain order, to grow and learn. Taking time to focus inward allows us the peace of mind to be fully present wherever we are, and not distracted by deadlines and schedules, which, in turn, brings value to not only ourselves, but to those with whom we interact. This is the edge, ultimately, where we should live, where we connect to one another as human beings.
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